Where will you be in 2 years?

Chances are that this is a post I'm not going to share with many readers. In fact I'd be really surprised if anyone who doesn't really know me reads much past the first paragraph of this sentence,  More than anything, This is my pathetic attempt at keeping a bit of a journal to come back and look at later as well as attempting to keep my family and friends clued in to my life.. Life has been crazy recently, With medic school taking up more time than ever, We just started diving into Cardiology. I'll be the first to admit that as much as I hate it: I LOVE IT (Cardiology that is). Its quite fascinating to begin understanding why the heart beats the way it does and what the electrical impulses mean to the body. My next BIG stress factor is trying to find an internship, As of today I've only got 36 more class periods to go before its time to do this stuff for real: I'm super stoked, and super nervous about that, I'm in the process of seeking out a Preceptor and an Internship if anyone can point me in the right direction.

Studies aside, I've been quite stressed out recently, Living with my in-laws so that I can have study time hasn't been easy but despite that it has been advantageous: I miss the days when Amy and I had a place and friends of our own and long for the day when I'll finally be working and we'll have a home and a family life of our own again. I feel like I'm getting older and older without much progression in life, Work hasn't been giving me the hours I've needed to pay the bills and I didn't score nearly as high as I'd have liked to on my last general aptitude fire exam leading me to wonder for a few hours if I'll ever really get to fight fire professionally like I've always dreamed for a living. With bills stacking up and studies seeming to fall behind, I just take my time out to play with my daughter and re evaluate where I am standing, Sometimes I feel like she's the only person who loves me no matter what, She doesn't care what my test scores are or what mood I'm in as long as I sit and play with her for a minute. It always makes me feel better, This brings me to my next point...

Yesterday at school, A new billboard was posted in the corner of the hallway near my classroom, A giant advertisement for National University (The Uni which espouses Westmed College's Paramedic Program) The sign read "Where will you  be in 2 years?" It then went on to describe the available degrees one could achieve within 2 years, However, Personally; It got me thinking, What's 2 years? In the span of a lifetime, 2 years is really quite small, It certainly won't take me 2 years to earn my Paramedic license from where I'm standing right now, I found myself pondering this question all evening while looking forward to 2 years from now with hopes and expectations that by then I'll have a job as a professional Firefighter Paramedic, own a home, and be settled into life, Maybe even have another child by then... Who Knows!? The thought that hit me the hardest was the fact that I needed to stop and enjoy the point of life I'm in right now: I am learning and loving every minute of it and despite what was written above, I realized that I really don't have much to complain about...

Going back to this concept of 2 years: I also thought back to just a few things I have seen and accomplished since 2 years ago today: I entered and graduated from an elite Para-Military style Fire Academy, Passed the quarter century mark as a man, Grew up just a bit after watching one of my best friend's get his ankle nearly crushed by a rolling boulder (for which I tried my best to apply my EMS skills), Moved my family out of state, and entered Paramedic school,  However the most important thing that has happened to me in these last 2 years is that I became a Father, and hopefully the kind of husband that I probably should have been all along.. Who knew that my daughter Brooklynn would bring so much joy into my life? I never could have imagined all that I was missing out on before she came into my life. Its the small and simple things that make my day and keep me sane, Hearing B say "Dad" with pronunciation on the second "d" sound, Watching her try and take her first drunken attempts at crawling to now racing me across the floor toward any destination in the house, Sitting on my shoulders and smiling away as we bounce and walk, Pulling herself up to a stand on anything she can get her hands on, Playing in the pots and pans drawer... I could literally go on and on....

I guess the point of this is post is that I can't believe it took a giant stupid sign to make me realize that I'm happy where I'm at with my life right now, I don't know where I willl be in 2 years, But I've got no doubt that I'm going to be happy with myself at that point and the things that I accomplished... Thinking about it, Time flies, 2 Years really isn't that long, so why do I catch myself whining about how long it is taking me to reach my dreams, They'll come true for me because I'm not going to stop until they do....